DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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