I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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