so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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