I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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