was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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