she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
