): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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