im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
