The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
