it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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