I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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