There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
