my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
