yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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