I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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