Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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