He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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