She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
