Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
