I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
