You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
