hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
