look no pants
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize