real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
