i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just high enough for therapy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize