He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
