I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
