i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
