Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
