i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
