You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
