Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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