He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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