She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
