Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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