Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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