i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
