it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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