this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
