So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
