Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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