I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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