watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
