is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
