Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
