remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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