I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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