forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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