I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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