two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
