bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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