I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
