I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she smelled like a LAN party
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i've created a new STD.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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