Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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