you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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