i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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