He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
