we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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