pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he shaved USA in his pubs
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
