They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
