I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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