...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
