WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
